thediagonallie: when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would...
ilikemymenbritish: stagling: i actually get decent grades on the papers i write at 1am so don’t you dare tell me i need to change my ways
rnilkbreath: rnilkbreath: i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u fuckers told
nosdrinker: i’ve been laughing at exchange rates for like thirty years
feistily: I’m scared to grow up. what if I end up alone. what if my career choice plummets. what if all my friends are happily employed and in relationships. what if no one wants me. I don’t want to grow up.
ihavewaytoomanyfeels: a-dash-of-hiddles: Most of those face merge things actually make an average looking guy. But then there’s this: is that tom hiddleston and jensen ackles that is tom hiddleston and jensen ackles
shadowfoxfire: kamerlort: do you ever just look at someone and know they would die in a zombie apocalypse yes.
jpkitty: In college, we don’t say “I love you”, we say “I have 5 essays, two finals, and 3 group projects due in the next 8 days” which translates to “I would like to be crushed by a train” and I think that’s pretty cool.
absconds: absconds: if u have a crush on me please stand up
four-ripped-his-clothes-off-and: I like the way the third book ends with ‘giant’ and not ‘gent’ and instead of saying ‘one choice can define you’ it states ‘once choice WILL define you’ it shows that shit’s about to go down hard
leezzee: gallifreyangurl: dinosaurs-on-wheels: hoechln: i was going to make a list of people that annoy me, but it was too long so I decided to post a pic instead. omg i’m in the same photo as tom hiddleston ugh, my hair looks terrible can we do it again i blinked
unfollower: when I was a kid my best friend was from this super conservative christian family who didn’t let her listen to anything but gospel music and she wasn’t allowed to watch PG movies until she was 13 but now she’s a polyamorous bisexual atheist who follows her favorite bands around on tour all the time so I guess it all worked out
dysenterygay: what if i got a boyfriend i wouldn’t know what to do what do they eat how often do they have to be walked
fartgallery: fartgallery: The best thing about my roommate getting tumblr is if he doesn’t reblog my text posts I can just go in his room and beat him up he didn’t reblog this
hunkules: hunkules: I wish you could find someone you like on the inside and then put them in a machine so they come out hot wait
disneyprincest: what if hell is just a high school parking lot immediately after school gets out
xeverdeen: evillucy: rupindah: jaymellark: HOW IS FERGIE 37 She was born 37 years ago thank i really wish that i had never made this post
maarkhoppus: fall out boy, paramore and justin timberlake on the iTunes top 10 charts wow hello 2006
hardcorerockinn: saying “no we can’t” when bob the builder and his gang said “can we fix it?” because you were a rebellious cunt of a child
satans-nipples: i put headphones in 20 minutes ago and forgot to play music: a novel by me
itskindofatradition: this summer i better get a job or im gonna kms i have so many things to do and no money to do it with
ronaldkn0x: people that think theyre superior to other people on here kill me like we are on a blogging site are u serious
partybarackisinthehousetonight: *christopher columbus arrives in america* “lol first” he writes in the sand
pizza: i am so done with everything except my homework
donkeykongcountry2: “i dont care about looks” LIAR YOU’RE A LIAR YOU ARE LYING
demonhunting: crabbyseer: queenofheartsonthesleeve: So today this guy accidentally hit me with the door when he was walking out of a classroom and instead of saying sorry he just looked me over and said ‘pretty cute’ and walked away . And then I realized . I literally just got hit on . The pun is greater than the pain . I guess you could say that he adores you get the fuck out
mutedlikesunset: hmu is the most awkward texting/internet acronym ever created
bicorn: sad because you can’t watch fanfics
milkshakeprincess: me being touched by people who aren’t my friends
aboutagrohl: moist-grunge: TEAR AND TIER ARE PRONOUNCED THE SAME BUT TEAR AND TEAR ARE PRONOUNCED DIFFERENTLY im glad english is my first language because if i had to learn it as a second language id jump off a bridge
benedictcumberassbutt: princejei: catswithbenefits: wow fox news isn’t even about foxes cnn is oh